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White Pine Sheriff's Calls

Your calls to the law, retold for people who love a good story. Like a countywide game of telephone.

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August 31, 2023
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August 31, 2023

by: Ely EarlenePosted on: August 31, 2023September 16, 2023

The Great Dog Debacle: There, on Main Street, two canine rascals were chained up like bandits in an old Western. How’d they end up there? Doesn’t matter! Deputy came, saw, […]

August 30, 2023
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August 30, 2023

by: Ely EarlenePosted on: August 30, 2023September 16, 2023

Dial-a-Harassment: So you’ve got someone breathing down your neck about property, eh? Deputy says, “You don’t have to take that, buddy,” and serves up a guide to protection orders. Keep […]

August 29, 2023
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August 29, 2023

by: Ely EarlenePosted on: August 29, 2023September 17, 2023

Cell Phone Anarchy: We’re talking verbal fireworks over a piece of technology that probably spies on you anyway. Lady accused of kleptomania, her property a stage for confrontation. Talk about […]

August 28, 2023
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August 28, 2023

by: Ely EarlenePosted on: August 28, 2023September 17, 2023

Natural Departure: Marie Carrick of Ely, Nevada has hung up her spurs. A life well-lived, ending as nature intended. A tip of the hat and a bow of the head. […]

August 27, 2023
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August 27, 2023

by: Ely EarlenePosted on: August 27, 2023September 16, 2023

Fuel Flee: Well, someone’s after free energy, a quick gas ‘n go without the ‘pay’. Deputy hits the road, searching for our elusive petrol pilferer. The chase? Still on, but […]

August 25, 2023
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August 25, 2023

by: Ely EarlenePosted on: August 25, 2023September 16, 2023

Drive-by Dialing: Harassment in the city, where lovers grow distant and exes drive closer. He zooms past her sanctuary, ringing her line with the urgency of yesteryears. The lady’s not […]

August 23, 2023
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August 23, 2023

by: Ely EarlenePosted on: August 23, 2023September 16, 2023

Dark Hour Search: A cry for help, echoing deep in the heart of Ely. Youth in the throes of despair, shadows clung tight. Deputies, EMS – they all swooped in. […]

August 22, 2023
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August 22, 2023

by: Ely EarlenePosted on: August 22, 2023September 16, 2023

Vagrant Vexation: In a town square standoff, a vagabond held his ground, looking for a piece of sheltered paradise. But the establishment said no dice. Sheriff’s deputy intervened, and the […]

August 21, 2023
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August 21, 2023

by: Ely EarlenePosted on: August 21, 2023September 16, 2023

Commercial Silence: There it was, an alarm slicing through the thick air, threatening the peace. Deputy swooped in, prowled around. But what was it? A siren’s cry with no shipwreck […]

August 19, 2023
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August 19, 2023

by: Ely EarlenePosted on: August 19, 2023September 16, 2023

Drunken Mirage: A hazy vision at the gas station; metal crumpled and perhaps an intoxicated cowboy behind the wheel. But no, the deputy’s keen eye found nothing amiss. Perhaps it […]

August 18, 2023
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August 18, 2023

by: Ely EarlenePosted on: August 18, 2023September 17, 2023

Ballard’s Bumble: In the neon glow of a local gambling den, Deputy locked eyes with none other than Daniel Ballard, Jacksonville’s finest export. What’s a Floridian doing in White Pine? […]

August 17, 2023
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August 17, 2023

by: Ely EarlenePosted on: August 17, 2023September 16, 2023

Fender Bender Waltz: A brush of metal, a caress of rubber on a city street. An automotive affair that left nobody hurt. Deputy put pen to paper, report filed, done […]

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This website is a parody. All content is satire and is not meant to bear resemblance to real events, people, or places. We are not affiliated in any way with the White Pine County Sheriff's Office, or anybody else, for that matter. Some rights reserved, but we won't tell you which ones.