October 5, 2023

Deer Versus Steel – A Rural Rumble: Out on a rural White Pine highway, a deer decided to play chicken with a hunk of metal on wheels. The Deputy played referee to this natural selection sideshow, joined by Nevada’s boys in blue.

The Phantom Ride: A car dumped like a bad date at a local joint, left to collect dust and parking tickets. The Deputy turned impromptu valet, handing out advice on how to vanish unwanted steel guests.

Knock-Knock Shenanigans: Local lady gets the jitters when a mystery trucker comes a-knockin’. Turns out, it’s just the dogcatcher playing door-to-door salesman. Deputy dons his Sherlock cap, mystery solved, everyone chuckles, end scene.

Bluetooth or Bust: Some joker’s making the rounds, hunting for invisible sound machines that must’ve sprouted legs. Deputy turns detective, scratching his head and scribbling notes in a “Case of the Vanishing Headphones” file.

Burglary Blues: Dude comes home to find his stuff did a Houdini. Deputy plays gumshoe, sniffing around for clues in the great stuff-napping case of ’23. Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion.

Smoky the Bear Says “Nah”: Some wannabe dragon’s lighting up weed pyres in the city. Deputy waves the no-no finger and calls in the water brigade. Cue the fire extinguisher.

Drunken Monkey Style: Shawn Standlee’s idea of a house party involves getting sloshed and overstaying his welcome. The law swings in, gives him the hook, and it’s off to the drunk tank for a timeout.

All’s Well That Ends…Okay?: Panic call about a tweaker with kids turns out to be a false alarm. Deputy plays peacemaker, finds the family playing Monopoly or something. No harm, no foul, just another day in our high country paradise.

Breakup in Aisle Five: Lovebirds turned angry birds squawking outside an apartment. Deputy turns couples counselor, issues a time-out, and they go to their separate corners. Love is dead, long live the soap opera.

The Hulk Visits Ely: Keith A. Hill channels his inner green monster, tears up granny’s place. Deputy swoops in, cuffs the Hulk-lite for messing with the elderly. Don’t make Keith angry; you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

Cowabunga, Dude!: It’s a bovine block party in suburbia, cows checking out the local digs. Deputy plays cowboy diplomat, talks to the cow whisperer. Everyone moos along.

Domestic Opera Sans Soap: The family’s bickering hits a fever pitch, no punches thrown, just grade-A beefing. Deputy steps in, hands out chill pills, and peace is restored… for now.

Sleepytime Steering: Rubber meets road, driver meets dreamland. This snoozer’s playing roulette with a two-ton lullaby. Deputy says, “Take a nap, pal,” and another disaster’s snoozed through.

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